Waiting for Home

I have been blogging since it became so popular 10 years ago or so. But I would delete it after sometime. I just did not like (I still do!) how I keep things from the past that only remind me of how horrible I was or maybe how painful something was.

But this blog, I have had this since 2012. Since 2012, I have been believing that I am coming home. What is home for me?

Home is where peace is. Home is where true happiness lasts. Home is where right is. Home is where my God is. Home is where Jesus is. Home is where contentment is. Home is having the right one for me, the man He wants for me. Home is having children with this man. Home is living our lives all for His greater glory. Home is living our lives to make other people's lives better. Home is making Him happy.

But until now, I haven't found home. I have long been convincing myself that I am coming home and that I deserve it.

I would always tell myself, "after all that I have done for Him, after all that I have chosen for Him, after all the pain I endured for Him... I deserve to be Home with Him."

I even have my theme song. The theme song of my life's struggle...


"I'm coming home" by Skylar Grey

However, until now, I'm still in great despair finding Home. Maybe I should change the blog name from sheiscominghome to sheisfindinghome.

I was a lost sheep before. I was living my life not knowing I was a lost sheep.

Now, that He has found me... and that I found Him... that I chose Him... that He chooses me...my heart is still restless.

How come, home seems nowhere to be found? I am in despair. Everyday, I'm waiting for Home.