Only happy vibes allowed

This picture may seem just an ordinary dinner with friends. Yes it was a dinner but it was no ordinary.

Beside me was my cousin who is 8 years younger than me. In front of us are his friends since grade school.

The dinner happened because my cousin invited me to just eat over our delayed (or not happening?) plan of putting up our own school. When I told him I'm sorry that our dream school does not seem to go as planned, I was feeling terrible and so frustrated at myself. He replied that it will happen in God's time and that we should just have dinner. I thought that the invite for dinner was only an empty offer. But it was an offer that actually happened, a sincere one.

So the dinner happened. These friends of his were also there when we were planning our school. And so to have them during that dinner made me feel good because there was no judgement on their part. Only happy vibes and stories of their adventures.

Looking forward to be with positive people!

Coping with...

Dealing with an illness and working to pay the cost of being ill can be taxing. Really taxing. How ideal it would be to just rest and wait until completely cured and not having to work to be completely well. But reality is, you gotta work and pay the bills for your medicines and doctors' professional fees.

So how can one deal with an illness while still working?

1. Listen to your body. Those little and seemingly not so painful but really and actually painful throbs may mean nothing but it can actually be really something. So listen to your body when there's a throb or unusual feeling that you get. You're lucky if the symptoms are physical. You can detect easily.

2. Embrace the changes. Side effects of the medicines may be too much to bear but remember it's for your benefit. But if it's too much that your work and daily performance is affected already, tell your doctor.

3. Seek help. Sometimes you want to bear the difficult process of becoming well alone. And you can manage anyway. Other times, you feel alone and like you cannot tolerate the emotional, mental and physical pain that comes with the treatment. Acknowledge that time and seek help.

I hope these tips help.

Another Battle

Battle against Depression should have been over last year when my doctor told me I can stop taking my happy pills.

But another battle has started. This time it's my battle against PCOS - polycystic ovarian syndrome.

One of the symptoms of this PCOS is depression. Ha! That damn D has come back (or maybe it never actually left!) through another form - in the form of PCOS.

You ask me now how I am. I do not know anymore! I've stopped asking why I have this. I am in this state where I am in complete surrender. I am no longer questioning God. I am only struggling now to accept His plans for me and obey him unconditionally.