Most of the time, we are told not to be too emotional. Sure, that's right. However, I argue that there are moments we have to learn to honor our feelings.
If you feel tired, try not to push yourself more. That feeling of exhaustion is your body's way of telling you to get some well deserved rest.
But there are feelings we try to pretend that do not exist. We simply dismiss these feelings because we are afraid to confront them. What am I trying to say? These feelings, if acknowledged, might cause confrontations or simply, discomfort.
Like for example, one time, I felt that I was being too snobbish towards my mommy. I felt that I was pushing her away. I had been feeling it but I was dismissing it as something natural between a mother and her daughter.
But I also felt guilty. I asked myself how come I was like that towards her. Many reasons came out - maybe I was pushing her away because I knew that no matter what I would do, I would be her least favorite and I was (and still am!) already feeling tired of trying too hard to please her; or maybe because I have been her biggest mistake, raising me was a mistake; or maybe because I know that all I cause her is trouble.
And I do not want to be all that to her. I only want to treat her good, give her all the best but right now, I could not seem to give it to her... Instead, she's the one who still has to help me. Seeing her, being with her remind me of what I could not be for her. It frustrates me that I cannot be what her other children are to her. And so I hate myself.
And so I just push her away so I would not be reminded of what I want to give her but cannot give her.
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