Company in Loneliness

One of the things that make me happy as a clinically depressed patient is when I get to see that I am not alone in my struggle. There's this FB group based in the Philippines that made me feel less alone. Although we are only friends virtually, I still feel comforted to know that there are those that can actually understand the illness. We share articles on how to cope with Depression or anything at all that would help any one of us in any way possible.

One of the latest articles that was shared is this - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/26/depression-frustrations_n_5692649.html

In this article, the writer simplified the many things that only people with depression could understand, such as, the meaning of "snap out of it" and how it is one of the most irritating statements often said by those who don't understand this illness.

But there's one statement in this article that I can relate the most - "There is no such thing as a little victory."

It went on saying that "There are no little victories because every accomplishment is a big victory." The simple act of getting up from the bed is already an accomplishment for me. I can totally relate and it actually feels good to know that that simple act should be treated as a big victory.

The past few weeks have not been very good to me. I literally drag myself out of the bed, choose repetitive old clothes for work, drive my way out of the apartment, walk towards the classroom, and face students as if everything's perfectly fine inside me. There's a lot of pretending or acting that I have been doing. But every time that I get to finish a day's work - I totally, totally, congratulate myself for it. Now, it feels good to know that what I do - congratulating myself - is actually a good thing.


There are many other websites that will surely help. But belonging to a group, even if it's only through a Facebook group, makes fighting Depression less lonely.

Two deaths in One day

Definitely not everyone understands mental illnesses. Surely, not all the time we can explain ourselves - about our mental illness, our struggles, our fights, and the stigma we have to live with - that we are weak, we just lack attention, or worse, we are crazy.

This reality about our struggle has what probably made Robin Williams and one college student take their own lives. This news about what seems to be apparent cases of suicide happened in one day. Two deaths in one day had to make sense to me in the midst of my crazy and heavy work demands.

Reports of suicide because of severe, mild or even clinical depression bother me a lot. It bothers me in the sense that in this noisy but lonely world, there's always that one person who we know or not know, that has to go through all the difficult processes of fighting depression. It bothers me to know that this person is even known to make people happy. It bothers me to know that there's probably nobody making him happy when he needs a slice of happiness. It bothers me that seemingly, there will never be a solution to mental illnesses. It bothers me that there's no choice but to struggle. And when the person gives up, he or she would be called weak. And in death, that person is still negatively judged - this bothers me! How cruel the world can be.