One thing about D is that you cannot pretend not to have it when you have it.
Everyday is like a war waged against D. You prepare your army. You train your weapons. You win. Oftentimes, you lose. It's not very easy to train everyday for this. It's always a conscious effort to fight and be better, as what I always say.
Being happy doesn't come so easily. You have to pull it closer to you. And when you have it, you gotta keep it close to you and embrace it while it lasts.
You can always appear cool and calm outside, but inside, there's always that struggle to show all's okay when there's that powerful force pulling you back to a state of desperation, hopelessness, and depression. It seems so easy to be in that state. It seems like you're made for that. It seems like it's home. It's that kind of home that ruins, destroys, and crashes you into pieces.
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