Scream

Sometimes I want to scream. Scream for help. Help that is trivial for others, but, a matter of life or death for me. Life that can keep my blood warm. Death that can keep me company in my cold breath. That scream.... That scream.

Sometimes I want to say I am not okay. That line that might suddenly make them deaf. That line that could permanently shun the life out of me. That line.... That line.

I am busy. You are okay. It is all in your head. We all go through that. You are okay.

Yeah. I hear them say that. I gotta say it to myself, too. I am okay. It's all in my head. Everyone goes through this. I am okay.

Why does being so alive so difficult? They take their cups of coffee and they are awake. I take my cups of coffee and I am still sleepy. They take all the stress, manage it and they can go on. I take all the stress, mismanage it and I cannot go on.

Life moves forward. I am stuck. Unmoving. Still sleeping.