Closer

Every trying time, joyful time .... Actually any time is an opportunity for us to lead our lives closer to Him.

 This is one lesson I got from my silent retreat.

Times were hard and deeply painful for me but I didn't see them as opportunities to make me stronger and more faithful to Him. Instead, I planted anger and even watered it with insecurity, self-pity, and unfaithfulness. That eventually grew into a destructive behavior - always doubting my capacity to forgive and always building walls around me to block myself from having authentic relationships - those that are both loving and hurting. 

I only wanted loving relationships - those that are not causing hurt. But later I found out, it is not a real relationship if it does not experience pain. Love in relationships means being able to endure pain and to forgive. 

That is what I just did. With His grace, I am able to choose to love and to forgive despite the pain - the pain that helps me come closer to Him.... closer to Home.