how to be depressed

Over the week that has just passed, I think I just brewed a perfect mixture to make me prone to depression.

Here's the list on how to be prone to depression:

• 3-4 hours of sleep everyday (or better yet, erratic sleeping)
• 2 days to none at all of physical exercise
• 4-5 cups of coffee everyday 
• 2-3 bags of chips
• 0 intake of fish oil (that has EPA and DHA which are anti-depressants)
• different time sked for meals
• different time sked for pill intake
• unbalanced meal
• a deadline to beat
• super high expectation for oneself

To make it worse, one or all of the things listed below will help:

• toxic relationship with a partner(lover/husband/wife)
• poor family communication
• zero social support

If you really want to be depressed, then you can do the following:

• deny that you need help from others
• keep all the problems to yourself 
• never express your feelings
• involve yourself in stressful situations like illicit affairs, illegal acts, etc.

Symptoms that your ways to be depressed may be effective:

• always shouting in anger
• extremely quiet 
• out of focus
• lack of interest in anything
• insomnia or hypersomnia
• and a lot others